The Remedy of Books

I bought this book on a whim from a library used-book sale. It had an intriguing title and description and I seemed to remember a friend mentioning it to me a few months earlier—though I couldn't remember if she’d liked it or not.

If I had to sum up The Thirteenth Tale in a sentence I’d say it was a compelling story badly executed. I love over-the-top Gothic tales that involve completely unbelievable combinations of dramatic elements like people wasting away from grief, insanity, secret love affairs, secret children, murder out of love, people driven mad by love, houses crumbling to pieces around a family deserted by their servants etc. and The Thirteenth Tale had all of it.

The book opens with our main character, Margaret, getting a letter from a famous but mysterious author, Vida Winter, telling her that she wants Margaret to write her one true biography. Throughout her life Vida has told many fanciful but obviously fake versions of her life story, but as she is now ill and dying she’s decided it is time to tell someone the truth. The book flips back and forth between Margaret’s life and her chats with Vida Winter, and Vida’s own story. Vida’s story starts more than 70 years in the past, before her own birth, in a large house called Angelfield. It involves all the above-mentioned Gothic elements and more—governesses, incest, twins, ghosts.

It took me a couple months to finish this book because I kept putting it down in exasperation, or stopping to angrily read bits to my husband because I couldn't believe the level of bad writing. The main issues I had with this novel were twofold: the heavy-handed writing and the at-times completely unbelievable characters.

One expects a certain level of unbelievability in Gothic characters—the nature of the genre lends itself to exaggeration. However, in the, perhaps 1/3 of the book which takes place in the *present* (which I believe is meant to be sometime around the 1950s, though I don’t think it’s ever stated) the characters were very hard to believe or connect with. So many times I couldn't stop saying out loud “nobody would act that way!” For instance when Margaret stumbles across a man hanging out in the ruins of Angelfield, they have a conversation, eat something together, and go on a walk before she bothers to ask him what he was doing there. These sort of things, when they occur many times in a novel, are very distracting to a reader.

I could have dealt with the issue of the characters, but not the heavy-handedness. There were times when one could tell the author was pleased with her own knowledge or turn of phrase and wanted to make sure the reader DIDN’T MISS IT. Certain story elements were so over-stated or repeated so many times it was completely exasperating to try to get through the section of writing. It was as if the author was peering over my shoulder saying, “Did you get it? Did you get it? Do you see what I did there? Wait, let me say it again a little differently. Wasn’t that profound? Don’t worry, I’ll come back to it and say it again in case you missed it.” I wish she had a little more faith that her readers would pick up on things. Certain metaphors or pieces of the prose were beautifully written. And then written again slightly differently. And then again, and again. This author comes off as one of those people who likes to hear themselves talk or who couldn't decide on the best way to say something, so she said it all the ways. Setterfield could have used a better editor to help guide her through slimming down some sections and stating her main points more subtly.

The book does have some things going for it though. Part of the reason I was so upset by the writing was that I found the story compelling and wanted it to be delivered better. At times I found myself reading much later into the night than I had intended. The twist at the end, while not 100% unexpected was still very good. To sum up, I would recommend this book if you’d like to read a good Gothic story and don’t mind trudging through some very silly writing.

Simon Jones recording The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

There is something extra wonderful about a good audio book. Audio books are lent a life of their own by the reader. It’s true, for a great audio book you do need to start with a good book. But a good reader can truly lend a new dimension to a book while a bad reader can make it unbearable.

Where to get audio books for free

The Monkey Island games:  an exemplary series featuring pirate shenanigans of all sorts, not to mention demonic talking skulls, voodoo ladies, and ships of the damned - as any respectable pirate tale ought.

I was so pleased to be able to read an advanced reader copy of Hook's Revenge which will be out in stores on September 16 this year (just in time for International Talk Like a Pirate Day on the 19th). I love adventure books – ever since reading books like King Solomon’s Mines, The Lost World and The Twenty One Balloons as a younger person I’ve had a desire to go off and discover mysterious lands and strange people (off to Zanzibar, to meet the Zanzibarbarians!).

I also love pirate stories. Treasure Island is one of my favorite books of all time. There really aren’t enough quality pirate books out there (though there are some excellent pirate computer games), so finding a fun, adventurous book which was also about pirates really made my day (thanks husband!)

 Anyway, on to the book. Hook’s Revenge follows the adventures of young Jocelyn Hook – daughter of the infamous Captain Hook (who she has never met). Jocelyn takes after her pirate father in that she causes chaos and destruction wherever she goes, despite being only twelve. In an attempt by her grandfather to civilize her, she is sent away to finishing school where Miss Eliza Crumb-Biddlecomb does all she can to whip her into shape. This goes as one might expect, with frustration and disastrous results for all. That is until Jocelyn is whisked off to Neverland after receiving a message from her recently dead father (composed before his death, of course. This isn’t that sort of book) setting her the task of taking revenge on the Neverland crocodile in whose jaws he met his demise.

I won’t spoil the plot, but it’s a great adventure with some very likable and some very dislikable characters all very well brought to life. The fact that Jocelyn does have moments where she fails or doesn't know what to do next makes her solid and someone you truly want to root for.

The storytelling moves at a good pace with lots of action and just the right amount of humor - perfect for both middle grade and older audiences alike. The narrator is one of the highlights of the book. He (?) is a rather cranky pirate who dislikes children and is only begrudgingly telling us the story because he’s getting older and the story ought to be told to someone. He isn’t ever-present, but he pops back in at regular intervals to remind us that we really are very annoying.

My only dislike of this book was the representation of Peter Pan, strangely enough. He is a very minor character, but he SO annoying. I would much have preferred that he not appear at all rather than have him be represented as a little dictator and such an ass. It is certainly a new take on a classic character, but I think it kind of ruins him for readers who might potentially go on to read Peter Pan for the first time. Of course, Peter was never completely likeable, even in his own book (“Oh the cleverness of me!”) but then again he was an archetype of boyhood, so who can blame him?

I also would have liked to have found that the hateful little girls at the finishing school eventually got their comeuppance, but perhaps that's something for the next book.

Altogether, I thoroughly enjoyed Hook's Revenge, but reading an advanced copy comes with the downside that I’ll have to wait even longer than everyone else for the second in the series.

For more about Heidi Schulz visit her piratey website. To pre-order Hook's Revenge visit Barnes and Noble, or order it to your local independent book store.